Brené Brown on Mastering Communication: Embrace Discomfort and Use These 3 Phrases

Mark Eisenberg
Photo: Finoracle.net

Why Effective Communication Remains a Challenge

Brené Brown, acclaimed research professor and author of Strong Ground: The Lessons of Daring Leadership, the Tenacity of Paradox, and the Wisdom of the Human Spirit, recently addressed the persistent difficulties people face with communication. In a candid discussion on The New York Times’ podcast The Interview, Brown identified a fundamental gap: “We don’t teach people how to communicate well.” Brown stresses that good communication demands vulnerability and a tolerance for discomfort. “It’s hard,” she said. “You have to have a tolerance for discomfort if you want to communicate well and honestly. And that’s at every level in an organization, in a family. It doesn’t matter.”

Key Elements of Effective Communication

According to Brown, effective communication hinges on clarity and accountability. It requires using the right words to express intentions, meanings, and needs clearly. She underscores the limitations of text-based communication, noting that “tone is lost on text.” Direct calls or in-person conversations are preferable to avoid misunderstandings. Moreover, Brown highlights the importance of taking responsibility when one’s words have caused upset, a skill often overlooked in communication training. “Behaviorally, no one’s taught how to do that,” she remarked.

Three Phrases to Navigate Conflict and Improve Dialogue

Experts agree that mastering accountability and empathy during difficult conversations is essential. The following phrases are recommended to foster understanding and de-escalate tensions:
  • “It sounds like what’s most important to you in this situation is …” — This paraphrasing technique, endorsed by career coach Phoebe Gavin, demonstrates active listening by reflecting the core of the other person’s perspective.
  • “It makes sense that you feel that way.” — Harvard Business School’s Alison Wood Brooks suggests this phrase to lead with empathy, especially when the other party is visibly upset.
  • “I want to make sure I understand.” — Multiple communication experts recommend this phrase to validate feelings and ensure clarity during conflicts.
Keeping these phrases in mind can facilitate more productive and compassionate conversations, whether in professional or personal contexts.
Brené Brown: “I think communication has never been more important than it is right now.”
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Brené Brown’s insights underscore a critical leadership and organizational challenge: fostering communication that embraces vulnerability and discomfort. In an era where remote work and digital messaging dominate, the risk of miscommunication and unresolved conflict increases, impacting productivity and morale.
  • Opportunities: Training programs that teach vulnerability and accountability can improve workplace culture and efficiency.
  • Risks: Overreliance on digital communication risks loss of nuance and emotional connection.
  • Leaders embedding empathetic communication strategies gain competitive advantage through stronger team cohesion.
  • Conflict navigation tools and coaching can reduce turnover and enhance employee engagement.
Impact: Brown’s approach highlights a transformative shift toward authentic communication as a cornerstone of effective leadership and organizational health.
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Mark Eisenberg is a financial analyst and writer with over 15 years of experience in the finance industry. A graduate of the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, Mark specializes in investment strategies, market analysis, and personal finance. His work has been featured in prominent publications like The Wall Street Journal, Bloomberg, and Forbes. Mark’s articles are known for their in-depth research, clear presentation, and actionable insights, making them highly valuable to readers seeking reliable financial advice. He stays updated on the latest trends and developments in the financial sector, regularly attending industry conferences and seminars. With a reputation for expertise, authoritativeness, and trustworthiness, Mark Eisenberg continues to contribute high-quality content that helps individuals and businesses make informed financial decisions.​⬤